It's not what I believe, It's what I know
by TooPiAr
Summary: Destiny can hurt. Will they make it through? Or will it hurt too much? My entry for CreddieFans' "Stay My Baby" Challenge
1. I've been stupid

Disclaimer: iCarly is not mine.

Written for CreddieFans' "Stay My Baby" Challenge.

Chapter 1: I've been so stupid

Carly's POV

_(Flashback)_

"_I don't think it's working out." Ely, my boyfriend for six months, tells me._

"_But what's wrong?" I ask him._

"_It's just that, I don't feel anything. We're finished" he said before turning on his heel and walking away from me._

_(End of flashback)_

I sat on one of the beanbags in the iCarly studio crying my eyes out. Tears rolling down my cheeks. I felt really heavy. My heart felt like it was broken in two. I would recall those moments we sat in the park, the way he hugged me, the way we kissed. And as I continue to recall those moments, my heart shattered into even more pieces. Those moments now gone and part of the past. A past that is so painful. My state of deep thought was eventually interrupted by a soft knocking on the door.

"Hey Carly," A male voice said as he entered. "I'm just going to install this- Hey are you crying?"

Freddie immeadeiatly detected my sadness. I tried to stop myself crying but to no avail. I could feel he was sitting beside me.

"Carly, you know you can always talk to me." Freddie said in a reassuring tone.

_(About half an hour later)_

"It's going to be okay." He said reassuringly. "He does not know what he's letting go of."

"But I really loved him." I told him.

"No, you only thought you did. If you two we're really meant to be, then you would have lasted longer."

_Ring, ring, ring._

Freddie snatched the phone on his pocket and read the message within. Apparently it was urgent when he said "Mi Dispiace _(I'm sorry)_, but I have to go."

And he walked out of the door without another word.

I felt elated already. His soothing voice of reassurance mended my heart as his words entered my ear. Unlike my other best friend, he really listens. He attempts to synchronize himself with me, shares his opinions, and gives advice.

I lay down again and let thought take over me.

For almost three years, he had been trying to get my attention. And for three years, I've turned him down. Even though he said he was in love with me, he would always support me when I got a new boyfriend. He never interfered with my relationships. And when I got dumped, he would be there for me in my time of sorrow. He never took advantage of my vulnerability.

Now it hit me. Those words he told me. "If it was meant to be, then it will last"

'I've been so stupid' I thought to myself. The person that was perfect for me was in front of me this whole time. Freddie's the one that's meant for me. How could I have not realized that?

But then there's just one slight problem. He's already gotten over me. I overheard him telling Sam about it. I couldn't blame him though. The way I've broken his heart so many times, I'm surprised that he still held on. But it seems that every person has limits. I guess he reached his limit.

Ironic isn't it? I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me back. Much like his situation back then. Now I know how he felt.

He doesn't try to get my attention anymore. He told me that if he couldn't be my boyfriend, then he would be the best friend I could ever have.

But I can't lose hope. If we were really meant to be, the The Man up there would make a way. If it was destined to happen, then it will happen.

If we were really meant for each other, then I am sure he will love me back.

But the signs are so obvious. The failed relationships and him fixing my broken heart.

I feel that we are really meant for each other.

We are meant for each other. He is meant for me.

It's not what I believe, It's what I know.


	2. Destiny Hurts

Disclaimer: If iCarly we're mine, It would be full of Creddie ;)

Chapter 2: Destiny can hurt.

Carly's POV

3 days after my breakup, I'm already fully recovered thanks to a special someone. He's talked to me, comforted me and hung out with me for the weekend. I was just excited to see him at school. But also afraid. I couldn't tell him immedieatly. He doesn't love me anymore and it's my fault. There he is now at his locker.

'_Just do it'_ a voice inside my head says. _'If it was destined, it will happen'_

'_You just can't tell him all so sudden!'_ another voice says _'He's given up. It's no use'_

It was an internal battle, those two voices debating whether I should or should not tell Freddie.

'_Tell him!'_

'_Don't tell him!'_

' _He'll love you again! '_

'_He will never love you.'_

'_Yes!'_

'_No!'_

"Uhm, Carly?" another voice said. With someone waving his hand right in front of me.

I was jolted back into reality and I saw a pair of chocolate brown orbs staring right into my eyes.

Those eyes for familiar, too familiar.

"Hey Carly? Everything okay?" Freddie asked me, still waving his hands in front of my face.

I felt the blood rushing to my face, I found it hard to say something. All that came out was "I...oh...uhm..err...I gotta go." With that I ran the opposite direction, not caring where I would end up. Leaving Freddie with a look of confusion upon his face.

I went to the first place I thought of, the girl's bathroom. I locked myself in a cubicle and recollected my thoughts. 'Why didn't I do anything?' I thought. I was too shy to face him. Afraid of what others might think. Afraid of what he might think.

After 10 minutes of thinking, I had finally decided to come out. It was now or never. I had to tell him. Maybe some part of him still loved me and if I told him, it would grow again.

Right after class, I felt confident that I could do this. Well, that confidence didn't last. As I saw her talking to another girl, my heart started to tear. And finally, it shattered when that girl kissed his cheek. Tears started rolling down my face.

He saw me, he started walking towards me. I ran. Ran as fast as my feelt could carry me. I had to get away from there. I ran home. When I got home, I dropped my bags and locked myself in my room. I cried. Not like the times I had been dumped. The pain was more intense.

'_I told you he's gotten over you. He has someone else now'_ the voice in my head started.

' _Don't give up, destiny really hurts. He'll see soon enough' _the other voice said.

My thoughts we're having another internal battle. As much as I was pained, I still loved him.

I wanted to avoid him, but I wanted to see him. That girl that kissed him, every fiber of me wished that it were me. We had to do iCarly today. I had no choice but to see him.

_Crash._

A loud crash of thunder followed a bright flash of lightning. Rain started to pour down hard. The rain reminds me of Freddie. When I think of the rain, I think of the water that washed away my problems.

Two minutes left. I had to go.

When I walked through the door, we all got into position. I had to pretend that nothing was wrong.

"In 5, 4, 3, 2..." Freddie would say, as he normally would.

_(An hour later)_

"And we're clear. Great show guys" Freddie said as he usually does.

Then he approached me.

"Carly, is something wrong?" he asked

"No, nothing's wrong." I replied

"Carly, I know you better than that. I know something's wrong." he said.

I got defensive "Nothing's wrong! You know nothing okay!" and I burst into tears.

"Carly, you've been acting really weird. What's bothering you?" he really was persistent.

"It's you okay!" I managed to say.

"What?" I saw the shock in his face

"It's you. I can't stop thinking of you. I love you but I'm not sure if you feel the same anymore. I just want to hold you in my arms, and give you all my love. I can't stop thinking of how much I messed up. That the guy that was meant for me was right there all the time and I've been to ignorant to see the signs. I just want you to know Freddie, I love you with all my heart." I managed to say through tears. After which I ran out. I did not care where my feet took me.

Next thing I knew, I was soaking wet under the hard rain. I sat on the bench outside the building and let my tears drop with the rain.


	3. It's not what I believe,It's what I know

Disclaimer: iCarly ≠ my property.

Chapter 3: It's not what I believe, It's what I know.

Freddie's POV

It was me. She loved me. All this time. Ever since she had a boyfriend for almost 6 months, I gave up. I knew she would never love me. When she broke up with him, I thought she was going to find someone else.

I stood there in shock after she rushed out of the door. She had loved me. I was too over her to see the possibility. I've dated other girls for six months (withouth Carly or Sam's knowledge) convinced she would never love me.

"Well?" Sam told me " Go after her!"

I did not think twice. I did not know where she went but my feet were taking me somewhere. The next thing I knew, rain was pouring hard on me. I found myself outside the Bushwell Plaza.

My feet took me to the right place.I was standing right in front of a bench and she was sitting there. Letting her tears drop with the rain.

"Carly?" I called "Carly would you like to come in?" Damn it. Nice Move Benson. Of all the things I could say. I sat down beside her. The rain continued pouring down on us.

"Please say something Carly." I said.

"Freddie.." she began to say "I..I..love you. It hurts that I love you but I can't have you. Just like how you felt back then. You loved me but I didn't love you. And I'm sorry for having put you through all that."

"Carly, It's ok. I don't have anything against you." I told her. "I may not be the guy who will make your dreams come true but I am the friend who will always be there-"

My sentence was cut off by a pair of lips crashing into mine. They were wet from the rain but warm all the same. It felt special. Like an electrical current traveled down my spine. I kissed her back. My arms found themselves around her waist as her arms were around my neck. The harder the rain poured, the deeper the kiss became. After what seemed like almost 7 minutes, we broke apart, arms still around each other.

"Freddie, you're not the guy I like. You're the guy I love." She told me. She was smiling, after all those girls, her smile still made my day. I'm falling in love all over again.

"Freddie, with all my heart, I love you." She said.

"Carly, I love you too. I will never feel for another what I do for you" I said.

Her lips crashed into mine again. This time, I returned it with much vigor. After another 5 minutes we broke apart.

"I was afraid that it might ruin our friendship." She told me "But it's worth the risk."

"Shouldn't we. Uhmm. Get inside. Before we catch a cold or something?" I asked. Lost for anything to say.

"Right" she simply put.

When we entered the lobby, soaking wet, Lewbert started elling his head off.

"WHY?!?! I JUST MOPPED THAT! NO DRIPPING IN MY LOBBY!"

"Zitto Idiota!" I yelled back. And Carly and I got in the elevator.

"You're so cute when you talk Italian." She says to me.

"Well...." There I am again lost for words.

"Uhm, so" I began saying, finding the words "Do you really believe that we're really meant to be? Do you believe we will last?"

She gave a slight giggle "It's not what I believe, It's what I know" she said.

And once again, her lips met mine as the elevator began ascending.


End file.
